Frame of Consciousness

Blog#1, March 2011

  "I do NOT want my glasses to be the first thing everyone sees when I walk into a room!"

     That phrase, to me, has become like some bad itchy rash that won't heal or some doofus talking loudly on his cell phone at my gym. Incredibly annoying. I cannot count the number of people over the years who have begun their frame selections with that absurd limiting statement. So, for all of you who are preoccupied with visions of your eyewear entering spaces before you, overpowering your best attributes, or just out and out outshining you, I dedicate this first blog.       

     First of all, the human mind is like a computer. Yet, as clearly illustrated in supermarket self-checkout lines around the country, some are much slower and less sharper than others. The great thing is that even the most simple of minds are still capable of processing many bits of information simultaneously. The person meeting you for the very first time takes all of 1-3 seconds to subconsciously determine whether they find you attractive or not. It's done by our senses and brain processes viewing a visual physical being as one entire organic unit and through a filter of unique personal biases and preferences collected over years by our lifelong experiences and exposures. Only after those initial few seconds does appearance criteria start being identified and analyzed through conscious means, giving your new friend specific indicators as to why they deem you hot or not.  

     When I first became an optician nearly 20 years ago it was unusual for most of my clients to view eyeglass frames as part of their overall style or as a way to enhance it. Instead, eyewear was seen as primarily the vehicle in which to place prescription lenses necessary to make you see 20/20. Glasses in the early 90's were purely a medical device for most people. I used to tell my coworkers that I could only retire happy when eyeglass frames finally took their rightful place in the fashion landscape ,as they already had been for many years overseas. I am happy to report that I can retire at any time now. The new generation of appearance conscious twenty-somethings couldn't make sense of why anyone would spend good money on clothing, footwear, accessories, and personal styling, only to drop the ball on something sitting front and center on their faces.

      So, recently, when an attractive 40-something new client was sitting in front of me declaring for my umpteenth time how she did NOT want her glasses to enter a room before she did, I finally snapped.

     I readjusted myself into my special assertive sitting posture that my longtime clients would recognize as my "I've Had It" position ,pulled out a legal pad, listed 1-10 in a column ,and asked her that if not her glasses, then which feature or physical attributes would she prefer the public to notice first about her at her many stops throughout the mega strip mall haven that is upscale McLean Virginia. Then I waited.

     She actually sat and thought about it for a few seconds, but was obviously struggling for that superior feature she wished us to marvel at first. "How about your hair?", I suggested. "You have great hair" (which she did). She thought, then replied, that, as good as her hair looked right then in my office, on many days it looked flat and dull from weather and she wouldn't actually place that at Number 1. "Your lips", I asked."No, they're a bit thinner than I'd like", she countered."How about those brilliant teal eyes of yours" I suggested, particularly since she was so afraid of glasses obscuring other, more important features.By her expression I could tell that she was figuring out that I wasn't about to end this frame buying detour of mine until my little personal study was finished, and she said, "My eye color is pretty but they get red during pollen season and I hate seeing my crows feet". Her chin, hips, breasts, arms, teeth and legs all crashed and burned without taking that coveted number 1 spot I was pushing her for. After a few seconds of silence, and probably wondering why her frame selection hadn't actually begun yet, she blurted out , "You know, I really don't want any one thing noticed about me first by anyone, I guess". Apparently noone had warned her that being a client also meant suffering through my psych evaluations and just overall general mental torture. "I just want to be seen for myself as a whole-not a part or bunch of parts. I'm a good person".

     I was a bit confused what being a good person had to do with anything, but she had passed my first test and arrived at the conclusion that I had wanted her to. I went on to explain how appearance was always judged as a whole at first, but whether she liked it or not, it was human nature for all of us to follow that initial cerebral computer-like activity with some specific conscious bodypart nitpicking.

     In truth, the only negative context in your glasses being the first thing anyone settles on when they look at you is if you happened to buy your frames at Ringling Brothers Clown Boutique or if they happen to be so contradictory to the rest of you that they inherently clash with your overall looks, life style, or personality. That happens by dumbing down your frame selection to make them "invisible". (which not only isn't invisible to us- we're not blind- but also adds 10 years of age to the wearer). It also happens when you buy some ill fitting over the top statement frame because its PURPLE and thats your favorite color. As trends, colors, and materials are fluid and relevant to the present time, so is your appearance. It should always be re-evaluated over the years no matter what your age. Eyewear is now going back to a bigger, heavier, more contrasting look (think a more sophisticated early 80's eyewear look) and as that trend seeps into our consciousness through print ads and all media it will become the norm of attractiveness throughout the next 5-10 years.YES, it so happens that this style has more presence than the previous trends towards rimless minimalist frames, but it doesn't mean that the glasses are wearing you.It only means you're moving along with the times to retain some relevance to the time period going on around you. There is nothing bad or desperate about that. The 22 year olds are experiencing this 60's and 80's-like trends for the first time in their lives. Maybe for you it's the second, third, or fourth. It doesn't mean you can't revisit the trend now that you're older, because with each new go around there is a new twist from the last time. (This new heavier 80's trend has multiple colors, lighter facial presence than predecessors, and made from more comfortable materials.)

     So, let's all stop worrying about our glasses being noticed first by others, (Shouldn't we really be glad that anyone actually notices anything about us?)  Excluding spouses of more than 10 years ,everyone interested in you notices everything about you anyway, so if your eyewear is going to be noticed, then make it GOOD!. And remember that an amazing pair of noticeable glasses is now as current and relevant to your good looks in 2011 as your clothes, shoes, and other personal stylings. If you are one of those people who truly, truly, do not care about their appearance in any way, than 'God Bless You'. It would make my life so much easier if I could feel and live that way, but, honestly, I can't, and we all know that easier isn't always better or more fulfilling. Sometimes, working on yourself, as tough or objectionable as it might seem to you, can actually produce as great an accomplishment as any professional or educational project.

     Next time I'm going to discuss how your friends and family aren't always the best "go-to" people when it comes to making decisions about your looks. (And by "aren't always" I mean "NEVER").

     GARY GOODSELL has been an optician/frame stylist at EYECENTRAL (formerly Drs. Reed, Fissel, and Foley) for nearly 20 years at the McLean VA office. His professional goal is to push his clients to work outside their stylistic box when it comes to choosing eyewear with the hope that the selection process and ultimate improvement in appearance will spark a synergistic change throughout other parts of their life.