Life Changes

Can a new pair of glasses actually change the direction of your life? If you thought,"no" than you'd best think again!

Well, personally, I'm a big believer that any change, no matter how small it might seem on the surface, can create a ripple effect throughout your world and lead to more profound consequences. For me it's not much of a stretch to think that the right choice of frames can actually change your place in the world. In fact, I've seen it happen many times over the past couple of decades with many clients and I'm going to recount two amazing cases where new glasses actually changed lives dramatically.

The first is about my long time pal, Stuart (not his real name).Stuart is an incredibly successful CFO/IT executive during the day but a self-professed major geek at home. His daytime uniform consists of a plain blue suit, white button down shirt, and solid blue tie. At home he pretty much wears previously worn un-designer jeans purchased off ebay and any weird incarnation of sandal-shoe that looks as creepy as it is comfortable. Three years ago during our annual frame selection I coerced Stuart out of his routine thin brown metal ovals and into a cooler edgier blonde tortoise plastic frame that- suprising even to me- really looked incredible on him. The frame transformed him, actually. His face almost took on a different look altogether. True to form, Stuart not only didn't see the miracle I was witnessing, he plain out hated them. His terms "cartoonish" and "clown-like" still ring in my head. My quandry here ,was, that Stuart actually did look incredibly handsome in these frames and since that is an adjective I've never associated with Stuart I decided to get medieval on his frame selection. After some serious intimidation and extortion Stuart left muttering to himself but agreeing to go with my choice.

When Stuart came in the following week  to pick up his new glasses, he was immediatley pleased with the improvement in vision, but, unlike me, still very displeased with the way he looked. "Like an alien has landed on my face" I believe is how Stuart described them.To his hard headed credit he agreed to wear them ,but only with the condition that after one week he would be free to return them in exchange for another frame selection of his choosing. The frame really enhanced Stuarts appearance, reshaping his face and complimenting his blonde/grey hair and pale complexion. As he left, everyone told him how great he looked, but Stuart looked at me like I'd just let him down and I felt a bit like a sleazy used car salesman interested in my commissions. (In fact, noone at Eyecentral receives commissions on any sales or services purchased so you can always be assured that money is never a motivator- just your good eyesight and good looks.) In spite of Stuarts pessimism,I knew alot of his friends and associates, and I was cautiously optimistic that they would  overwhelmingly support his new look.

   So, long story a little shorter, I ended up going to Stuart's wedding a year ago to a girl who, in fact, actually approached him at a local CVS within that first week of wearing his new "alien on his face" plastic frames. The woman walked up and spoke to Stuart only to tell him how spectacular he looked in his glasses, and the conversation, and relationship, just progressed from that point. This is a man who couldn't even get a date in a women's prison and now he was marrying an attractive intelligent woman ( a solid 8 to his 6) who made initial contact only because of his glasses. She also confessed to me that the glasses implied, to her at least, something good about his personality and confidence level.

Now I would consider that to be a frame selection that ,indeed, had life changing consequences, wouldn't you? My next big problem with Stuart will be trying to get him out of those damn frames in the next year or two. He's come to think of them as the solver of all problems, his Holy Grail.

The most dramatic example of how glasses can transform your life comes from another long time client, Leila (not her real name). Leila's insurance plan allows her to buy new glasses from me every two years and I've always loved working with her. I loved it because Leila was very funny and very decisive, but mostly because the selection was fairly easy. You see, Leila weighed just under 300 lbs and at 5'7" was as wide across as she was tall. Although only in her mid-30's Leila never pushed too hard to do anything too different, and I shamefully admit that I never pushed myself too hard, either. She was always a fun, quick, entertaining and simple selection. Under all the excess weight Leila had what looked like naturally gorgeous facial features and I could never understand how women like that could get that far out of shape.My error in our relationship was not working with her the way I automatically worked with other, more fit, women. I may have known she was beautiful somewhere in there but I let myself become part of the "lost cause" that was Leila.

Our most recent frame selection in July 2009 turned out much differently than the previous ones. I was having one of my rare "I'm a fabulous artiste" days and so Leila and I began looking at more interesting, colorful, stylish frames than we'd ever looked at before. After laughing at and rejecting most of them I placed one royal purple and gunmetal combination frame onto her face that instantly did for her what Stuart's had done for him. She simply was not the same person she was just moments earlier.They made her look more angular, more refreshed and alive, as if the frames just slapped her and woke her up out of a deep sleep. I wouldn't even hear of considering any other choices and Leila agreed. She was nervous a little about the selection but, unlike Stuart, she could see how the frames played with her facial features and enhanced her looks. She left happy and excited about her choice. 

Leila picked them up a week later and I was like a proud parent. I made her walk around and model the glasses for everyone and I could tell when she was leaving that she was rather pleased herself. I mentally patted myself on the back for my good work, hoping that it somehow made up a little for the half hearted jobs I'd done with her in the past.

Another long story short, Leila apparently went to a party about two weeks after picking up her new glasses and was shocked to spend the evening fielding compliments from all the party goers about how amazing she looked, how cool she seemed, and how pretty she was. The hostess booked an appointment with me a few weeks after her party because she was so impressed with the change we made in Leila's appearance. She recounted a story of how, midway through the party, she found Leila standing alone in the dark in a guest room sobbing quietly.Leila told my client that nothing was wrong, but, in fact, she'd never received any appearance-related compliments for over two decades and it just became overwhelming to her to suddenly receive so many. Leila said that for years the best thing she'd ever heard from people was that she was a "nice person". Leila said that people like her knew that being called "nice" was the go-to  thing people said about you when they couldn't find anything more substantive to flatter you over. (well put, Leila.) Leila told the hostess that she'd felt hopeless and helpless about her looks for 20 years and she never expected anyone to give her a second (positive) look ever again.

The party hostess ran into Leila about three months later and almost didn't recognize her. Leila had taken off almost 50 lbs and was still losing weight.By the time she came in to see me for an adjustment late last year Leila had lost half her body weight and now was about 150 lbs.The face I'd always guessed to be beautiful wasn't just front and center, but looking more beautiful than I'd even imagined. Leila told me, very emotionally, that the experience from just getting her new glasses gave her the motivation to re-examine and re-define herself- becoming a healthier, leaner, happy person- and HOT ,btw!- and I couldn't have been prouder or happier for her. To this day she keeps a snapshot of 300 lb Leila taped to the back of her IPOD to look at on days when she's less than motivated to go to the gym.

 I admit, I am one of those morons who watch "The Biggest Loser" and sob during weigh-ins, not just because I'm happy for the contestants, but because I can't conceive of many accomplishments being more vital or worthy of respect than those positive ones we make on ourselves. Positive change can happen in many ways, but I've realized that it happens here at Eyecentral, more often than not, when we (lovingly) strong arm, intimidate, and bully someone into veering off into a direction that they're not programmed to go in.

Stuart and Leila are two incredible examples of how something as simple as a new pair of glasses can take your life and move it along to a place you'd rather be but didn't know how to get to. Never underestimate that sometimes the new job, the new relationship, or the new physique can finally emerge when you select the right pair of eyewear.Yeah, it might sound a bit simplistic and stupid, but I can tell you from experience that it is not.  

Gary Goodsell,Uber- Optical Manager and part-time psychiatrist, Eyecentral, McLean VA